You don't look like the person I knew and Melissa only makes two faces. Duckface and toothy grins. There's something sad and pathetic about these ongoing updates you're sending me. No, I'm not interested. I haven't been in a long time. Take the hint and leave.

I work at the musuem, Herman, and no, I'm not a believer. You turned out to be an arrogant spoiled little piggie and everytime I look at you I'm reminded of how pathetic your life seems. Stay in school.