614-791-4597
OH, US
 | MJ 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
THIS COMPUTER KEEPS CALLING ME & I AM ON THE DO NOT SOLICTATE LIST
| Paul Troon 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Some guy named "Jason" called several times. I returned their call and was told they had a $17.42 bill for "BFI Telecommunications." After explaining that I have no knowledge of the debt, nor have I ever used their services, "Jason" threatened to garnish my wages for the now total bill of $247.71 (including user fees, returned check charges (?) Service fees and such.) I asked to speak with his supervisor and was hung up on.
I called back and was put on hold. . .hung up after 22 min. End of round one.
Next day, "Jason" calls again. I'm non too happy about it, and tell him so. As I tell him to CEASE COMMUNICATIONS, he says, "Hey f***er, I wrote your name and number in the bathroom at the Q Bar." and hangs up. I immediately call back and ask to speak with a supervisor. After being on hold for 12 minutes, the phone is picked up by someone who identified them self as "Robert" As I start to explain and register a complaint, he accuses me of being a deadbeat and he goes on to state he has "heard it all before" and I need to pay up to save my credit. Once again, I start to explain, and "Robert" tells me he is giving me 24 hours to arrange payments or he is going to approve the matter for legal action. I ask to speak to his supervisor, and he remarks that he is going to, "come by my house and f*** my dog." And hangs up.
The very next day, I send, via certified mail Cease communications letters as specified by the Debt Collection Practices Act(FDCPA). I also called them back and sheepishly asked for their fax number telling them I was going to fax a settlement letter to them. I was given the number (614) 791-4720 and of course thanked the "nice woman" for her help. I faxed copies of the letter to them that day.
The following day, they called and left no message on my answering machine. The following monday, who calls but my good buddy "Jason". . . once again, same song and dance. This time, the gloves are off. "Jaso, ol' buddy, listen, your right. I really need to take care of this unfortunate matter and thank him for his help. . Could you offer me a settlement offer?"
"Well," he starts. . You do owe the balance of this debt to a reputable creditor who expects YOU to make good on your debt," he says.
ME: I know, sir, but this guy named "guido" sold me the plan and promised me LIFETIME phone service unlimited for a one time fee of &12.95
"You really need to make arraingements and pay this before more charges accrue."
ME: Well,Guido said he was sending the guys from Chicago to break my legs if I didn't sign up, but that if I did, I could call anyone, anytime.
"That's not my concern, I am attempting to. . .
ME: What? Get a b*** job?
"Excuse me?"
ME: Look, I'm NOT giving you a SNOW job. . .
"We hear excuses like this all the time, now according to my records. . .
ME: You got VD from chimpanzee?
"Did you say?"
ME: No, Look Jason, I don't mind dealing with you, and the debt is. . "
"Well then you need to pay it?"
ME: Why, so you can stick your dick up my a**?. . But, I just got my car repossessed, and my wife left me for another woman."
"Look, I don't have time to mess with you, if you don't. . .
ME: What? let you buttfuck my gerbil?
CLICK
Next Day, no calls.
Following day
ME: Hello? Listen Debbie, I promise, I did not get that girl pregnant, it was. . .
Caller: Mr. Troon, this is Tom, from Outsourcing sol. u. . t. .
ME:Your out f***in who?
Caller: Excuse me?
ME: Oh, is this Jaso,s bro? listen man, I know Debbie gave you herpes and it probably hurts right now. . .
Caller: Your a sick f***!
ME: How goddamn dare you dickweed. . . listen, I'm coming over to your little shopping center in about 15 minutes with a few of my boys and were gonna kick your a**!
CLICK
That night I set up the computer to fax a letter to the fax machine. The letter says, "Stop calling me Jason, I will not let you suck my dick anymore" Number of copies 250. . .
The next day, my happy little a**wipe calls again
Me: "Ello?"
Caller: I need to speak with Paul Troon
ME: "You need a, you need a, a, spittoon?
Caller: No, Paul Troon, would you have him come to the phone?
Me: Uno momento, por favor. . .
momentary pause. . . .
Me: Ello? He is on the fone he is about to cum. . .
Me: <Straining sounds> oooOOUhhh BAbeee. . . Thats good, just a little more . . thats right, suck it good. . I'm gonna. . I'm gonna. . AHHHHH!!!
Me: That will be $29.95. . .if you would like five more minutes it will be an additional $29.95. .
Caller: Ah. . .
Me: Will you be paying by credit card or check by phone?
CLICK
That night I set the fax machine to send a new letter:
Daily JOKE A FAX
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.
"Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.
"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly,
"Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription:
"Gone, But Not for Cotton."
Housekeeper: Professor, theres a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldnt believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose Ill have to go and tell him myself.
The recipient of this fax agrees to pay the sender $19.95 per copy. Receipt of this fax constitutes agreement. The sender of this fax reserves the right to revoke, recend or change the terms of this agreement without previous notice to the recipient. Failure to pay the cost of this instrument to the sender WILL result in LEGAL ACTION to recover the cost plus a prohibitive service fee and all legal fees, plus additional damages of $17.95 per letter sent. This is an attempt to collect a debt.
I then set it to send 75 copies.
Next day, I sent a fax of a bill for 75 copies of "Daily joke fax" for a total of $1426.95.
The following day, I made some letterhead for Dewey, Cheatum and Howe Attorny's at law. Demanding payment of the original $1426.95 bill plus Service fees of $17.95 x 75 ($1326.45) +plus attorney fees of $575.00 for a total of $3328.40. Faxed a copy and mailed one by certified mail, return receipt requested.
The next day, I called and asked to speak to Ray Bock. when asked who I was, I stated, "Bill Fold esq. of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. In short order the hold is answered and a fellow comes on and says,
Them: "Ray Bock"
Me: Mr. Bock, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm, located here in scenic New York city. We are handling an account that has been turned over to us for collection.
Them: "Let me let you speak to my assistant. . ."
Me: Mr. Bock, perhaps you don't understand, We are in receipt of a matter of $3328.40 owed to our client. Unless you deal with this matter promptly, we WILL be forced to commence a legal action against you and your firm.
Them: What are you talking about, who is this?
Me: Sir, this is not a joke, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. We have a. . .
Them: Have you spoken with our corporate accounts receivable department?
Me: This bill originated from your Dublin Ohio office, the information I have makes no reference to a so called "Accounts receivable department" . . if you have such an office.
Them: You need to get in touch with. . .
Me: Mr. Bock, Once again, this is not a joke, we currently hold a legal indebtedness from one, let me see here. . .Yes, Jason in your office, subscribing to our clients service and failing to pay. . .
Them: Who did you say?
Me: You heard me deadbeat! if you don't make arrangements promptly, we will file an action in. . .
Them: This must be a joke. . .
I called back and was put on hold. . .hung up after 22 min. End of round one.
Next day, "Jason" calls again. I'm non too happy about it, and tell him so. As I tell him to CEASE COMMUNICATIONS, he says, "Hey f***er, I wrote your name and number in the bathroom at the Q Bar." and hangs up. I immediately call back and ask to speak with a supervisor. After being on hold for 12 minutes, the phone is picked up by someone who identified them self as "Robert" As I start to explain and register a complaint, he accuses me of being a deadbeat and he goes on to state he has "heard it all before" and I need to pay up to save my credit. Once again, I start to explain, and "Robert" tells me he is giving me 24 hours to arrange payments or he is going to approve the matter for legal action. I ask to speak to his supervisor, and he remarks that he is going to, "come by my house and f*** my dog." And hangs up.
The very next day, I send, via certified mail Cease communications letters as specified by the Debt Collection Practices Act(FDCPA). I also called them back and sheepishly asked for their fax number telling them I was going to fax a settlement letter to them. I was given the number (614) 791-4720 and of course thanked the "nice woman" for her help. I faxed copies of the letter to them that day.
The following day, they called and left no message on my answering machine. The following monday, who calls but my good buddy "Jason". . . once again, same song and dance. This time, the gloves are off. "Jaso, ol' buddy, listen, your right. I really need to take care of this unfortunate matter and thank him for his help. . Could you offer me a settlement offer?"
"Well," he starts. . You do owe the balance of this debt to a reputable creditor who expects YOU to make good on your debt," he says.
ME: I know, sir, but this guy named "guido" sold me the plan and promised me LIFETIME phone service unlimited for a one time fee of &12.95
"You really need to make arraingements and pay this before more charges accrue."
ME: Well,Guido said he was sending the guys from Chicago to break my legs if I didn't sign up, but that if I did, I could call anyone, anytime.
"That's not my concern, I am attempting to. . .
ME: What? Get a b*** job?
"Excuse me?"
ME: Look, I'm NOT giving you a SNOW job. . .
"We hear excuses like this all the time, now according to my records. . .
ME: You got VD from chimpanzee?
"Did you say?"
ME: No, Look Jason, I don't mind dealing with you, and the debt is. . "
"Well then you need to pay it?"
ME: Why, so you can stick your dick up my a**?. . But, I just got my car repossessed, and my wife left me for another woman."
"Look, I don't have time to mess with you, if you don't. . .
ME: What? let you buttfuck my gerbil?
CLICK
Next Day, no calls.
Following day
ME: Hello? Listen Debbie, I promise, I did not get that girl pregnant, it was. . .
Caller: Mr. Troon, this is Tom, from Outsourcing sol. u. . t. .
ME:Your out f***in who?
Caller: Excuse me?
ME: Oh, is this Jaso,s bro? listen man, I know Debbie gave you herpes and it probably hurts right now. . .
Caller: Your a sick f***!
ME: How goddamn dare you dickweed. . . listen, I'm coming over to your little shopping center in about 15 minutes with a few of my boys and were gonna kick your a**!
CLICK
That night I set up the computer to fax a letter to the fax machine. The letter says, "Stop calling me Jason, I will not let you suck my dick anymore" Number of copies 250. . .
The next day, my happy little a**wipe calls again
Me: "Ello?"
Caller: I need to speak with Paul Troon
ME: "You need a, you need a, a, spittoon?
Caller: No, Paul Troon, would you have him come to the phone?
Me: Uno momento, por favor. . .
momentary pause. . . .
Me: Ello? He is on the fone he is about to cum. . .
Me: <Straining sounds> oooOOUhhh BAbeee. . . Thats good, just a little more . . thats right, suck it good. . I'm gonna. . I'm gonna. . AHHHHH!!!
Me: That will be $29.95. . .if you would like five more minutes it will be an additional $29.95. .
Caller: Ah. . .
Me: Will you be paying by credit card or check by phone?
CLICK
That night I set the fax machine to send a new letter:
Daily JOKE A FAX
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.
"Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.
"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly,
"Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription:
"Gone, But Not for Cotton."
Housekeeper: Professor, theres a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldnt believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose Ill have to go and tell him myself.
The recipient of this fax agrees to pay the sender $19.95 per copy. Receipt of this fax constitutes agreement. The sender of this fax reserves the right to revoke, recend or change the terms of this agreement without previous notice to the recipient. Failure to pay the cost of this instrument to the sender WILL result in LEGAL ACTION to recover the cost plus a prohibitive service fee and all legal fees, plus additional damages of $17.95 per letter sent. This is an attempt to collect a debt.
I then set it to send 75 copies.
Next day, I sent a fax of a bill for 75 copies of "Daily joke fax" for a total of $1426.95.
The following day, I made some letterhead for Dewey, Cheatum and Howe Attorny's at law. Demanding payment of the original $1426.95 bill plus Service fees of $17.95 x 75 ($1326.45) +plus attorney fees of $575.00 for a total of $3328.40. Faxed a copy and mailed one by certified mail, return receipt requested.
The next day, I called and asked to speak to Ray Bock. when asked who I was, I stated, "Bill Fold esq. of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. In short order the hold is answered and a fellow comes on and says,
Them: "Ray Bock"
Me: Mr. Bock, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm, located here in scenic New York city. We are handling an account that has been turned over to us for collection.
Them: "Let me let you speak to my assistant. . ."
Me: Mr. Bock, perhaps you don't understand, We are in receipt of a matter of $3328.40 owed to our client. Unless you deal with this matter promptly, we WILL be forced to commence a legal action against you and your firm.
Them: What are you talking about, who is this?
Me: Sir, this is not a joke, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. We have a. . .
Them: Have you spoken with our corporate accounts receivable department?
Me: This bill originated from your Dublin Ohio office, the information I have makes no reference to a so called "Accounts receivable department" . . if you have such an office.
Them: You need to get in touch with. . .
Me: Mr. Bock, Once again, this is not a joke, we currently hold a legal indebtedness from one, let me see here. . .Yes, Jason in your office, subscribing to our clients service and failing to pay. . .
Them: Who did you say?
Me: You heard me deadbeat! if you don't make arrangements promptly, we will file an action in. . .
Them: This must be a joke. . .
| Sue 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
They usually call late afternoon, at least once a day, nobody answers! Then when I held on for a bit, it said "Please hold on, do not hang up, someone will get to you", well of course I wait forever and HANG UP!!!!
Annoying, want it stopped!
Annoying, want it stopped!
| NoCallWorks? 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Called twice a day. No voicemail message. Nobody talks from other end when answered.Probably auto dialing system
| BetIKnow 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
They called my cell phone looking for the previous owner of the number. When I first got my cell number a lot of people were calling trying to get her to pay her bills. I'll bet this is a collection agency looking for people who owe money and the only contact number they have is her old cell phone number.
| Lory L 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
They call me continuously, I'm also on the National Do Not Call list, apparently it doesn't work. I think next time I'm going to get a whistle and blow hard as I can, maybe they will think twice about calling.
| Leave me alone - make it stop 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
calls every day. Leaves silent voicemails.
| Josh 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Called on my cell and didn't leave a message, from the looks of other comments and sites, i'll be hearing from this number again.
| Connie Kotsou 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
They keep calling and won't say anything. I get at least 2 calls every day from this number.
| Vickie 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
this number called today and a guy said he is reviewing my application -- whatever that means.. i pretended to not be me because i thought it was a bill collector, but this is something else. i think he was trying to get personal information. he wouldn't leave a msg for.. me.. but said that i had his number already.
| Chuck 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
They will not stop calling my house when I call them back I
am just put on hold. I have been on do not call for 5 years.
6/18/08
am just put on hold. I have been on do not call for 5 years.
6/18/08
| sh 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
This # calls at least once a day. Never a message, just silence on the voicemail. No one ever says anything if we do answer.
| r 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Called me today at a phone not even belonging to me.....so they know lot's of personal info and wanted to verify my identity. I returned the call and they won't identify themselves other than they are processing aplications fr something 'educational'. Who are these people? The guy kept spouting they couldn't tell why they were calling because of federal regulations requiring hem to verify they are talking to a particular person. I told them to never contact me again for any reaon. I hope it works!
| LR 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Called me and said he wanted to 'update his records'. "I'm not selling anything."...yea, right.
| cs 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
i am on the do not call list and they still called, i am going to report them
| PF 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Just called me too. 2nd time in 2 days.
| Alli 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
That is a Columbus, Ohio area telephone #.. contact the state of Ohio as well.. there's even more strict laws against this.. falls under the TCPA as well.. :D
| LM 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Calling and do not speak when I answer.
| sahne 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
this number wont stop calling. calls are at 2:00 am on the weekends ....
| jb 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
they keep calling.....e do not answer
| DH 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Have called mulitple times over the last 2 or 3 weeks. Caller ID: OUTSOURCING SOL
| rpmuir 2011-06-06 20:52:42 Unknown |
Received multiple calls from this number. Sometimes twice a day and won't stop calling.
| Paul Troon 2009-07-25 15:40:25 Unknown |
Some guy named "Jason" called several times. I returned their call and was told they had a $17.42 bill for "BFI Telecommunications." After explaining that I have no knowledge of the debt, nor have I ever used their services, "Jason" threatened to garnish my wages for the now total bill of $247.71 (including user fees, returned check charges (?) Service fees and such.) I asked to speak with his supervisor and was hung up on.
I called back and was put on hold. . .hung up after 22 min. End of round one.
Next day, "Jason" calls again. I'm non too happy about it, and tell him so. As I tell him to CEASE COMMUNICATIONS, he says, "Hey f****r, I wrote your name and number in the bathroom at the Q Bar." and hangs up. I immediately call back and ask to speak with a supervisor. After being on hold for 12 minutes, the phone is picked up by someone who identified them self as "Robert" As I start to explain and register a complaint, he accuses me of being a deadbeat and he goes on to state he has "heard it all before" and I need to pay up to save my credit. Once again, I start to explain, and "Robert" tells me he is giving me 24 hours to arrange payments or he is going to approve the matter for legal action. I ask to speak to his supervisor, and he remarks that he is going to, "come by my house and f*** my dog." And hangs up.
The very next day, I send, via certified mail Cease communications letters as specified by the Debt Collection Practices Act(FDCPA). I also called them back and sheepishly asked for their fax number telling them I was going to fax a settlement letter to them. I was given the number (614) 791-4720 and of course thanked the "nice woman" for her help. I faxed copies of the letter to them that day.
The following day, they called and left no message on my answering machine. The following monday, who calls but my good buddy "Jason". . . once again, same song and dance. This time, the gloves are off. "Jaso, ol' buddy, listen, your right. I really need to take care of this unfortunate matter and thank him for his help. . Could you offer me a settlement offer?"
"Well," he starts. . You do owe the balance of this debt to a reputable creditor who expects YOU to make good on your debt," he says.
ME: I know, sir, but this guy named "guido" sold me the plan and promised me LIFETIME phone service unlimited for a one time fee of &12.95
"You really need to make arraingements and pay this before more charges accrue."
ME: Well,Guido said he was sending the guys from Chicago to break my legs if I didn't sign up, but that if I did, I could call anyone, anytime.
"That's not my concern, I am attempting to. . .
ME: What? Get a b*** j**?
"Excuse me?"
ME: Look, I'm NOT giving you a SNOW job. . .
"We hear excuses like this all the time, now according to my records. . .
ME: You got VD from chimpanzee?
"Did you say?"
ME: No, Look Jason, I don't mind dealing with you, and the debt is. . "
"Well then you need to pay it?"
ME: Why, so you can stick your dick up my a**?. . But, I just got my car repossessed, and my wife left me for another woman."
"Look, I don't have time to mess with you, if you don't. . .
ME: What? let you b*****ck my gerbil?
CLICK
Next Day, no calls.
Following day
ME: Hello? Listen Debbie, I promise, I did not get that girl pregnant, it was. . .
Caller: Mr. Troon, this is Tom, from Outsourcing sol. u. . t. .
ME:Your out f****n who?
Caller: Excuse me?
ME: Oh, is this Jaso,s bro? listen man, I know Debbie gave you herpes and it probably hurts right now. . .
Caller: Your a sick f***!
ME: How goddamn dare you d****eed. . . listen, I'm coming over to your little shopping center in about 15 minutes with a few of my boys and were gonna kick your a**!
CLICK
That night I set up the computer to fax a letter to the fax machine. The letter says, "Stop calling me Jason, I will not let you s*** my **** anymore" Number of copies 250. . .
The next day, my happy little a***ipe calls again
Me: "Ello?"
Caller: I need to speak with Paul Troon
ME: "You need a, you need a, a, spittoon?
Caller: No, Paul Troon, would you have him come to the phone?
Me: Uno momento, por favor. . .
momentary pause. . . .
Me: Ello? He is on the fone he is about to cum. . .
Me: <Straining sounds> oooOOUhhh BAbeee. . . Thats good, just a little more . . thats right, suck it good. . I'm gonna. . I'm gonna. . AHHHHH!!!
Me: That will be $29.95. . .if you would like five more minutes it will be an additional $29.95. .
Caller: Ah. . .
Me: Will you be paying by credit card or check by phone?
CLICK
That night I set the fax machine to send a new letter:
Daily JOKE A FAX
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.
"Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.
"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly,
"Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription:
"Gone, But Not for Cotton."
Housekeeper: Professor, theres a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldnt believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose Ill have to go and tell him myself.
The recipient of this fax agrees to pay the sender $19.95 per copy. Receipt of this fax constitutes agreement. The sender of this fax reserves the right to revoke, recend or change the terms of this agreement without previous notice to the recipient. Failure to pay the cost of this instrument to the sender WILL result in LEGAL ACTION to recover the cost plus a prohibitive service fee and all legal fees, plus additional damages of $17.95 per letter sent. This is an attempt to collect a debt.
I then set it to send 75 copies.
Next day, I sent a fax of a bill for 75 copies of "Daily joke fax" for a total of $1426.95.
The following day, I made some letterhead for Dewey, Cheatum and Howe Attorny's at law. Demanding payment of the original $1426.95 bill plus Service fees of $17.95 x 75 ($1326.45) +plus attorney fees of $575.00 for a total of $3328.40. Faxed a copy and mailed one by certified mail, return receipt requested.
The next day, I called and asked to speak to Ray Bock. when asked who I was, I stated, "Bill Fold esq. of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. In short order the hold is answered and a fellow comes on and says,
Them: "Ray Bock"
Me: Mr. Bock, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm, located here in scenic New York city. We are handling an account that has been turned over to us for collection.
Them: "Let me let you speak to my assistant. . ."
Me: Mr. Bock, perhaps you don't understand, We are in receipt of a matter of $3328.40 owed to our client. Unless you deal with this matter promptly, we WILL be forced to commence a legal action against you and your firm.
Them: What are you talking about, who is this?
Me: Sir, this is not a joke, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. We have a. . .
Them: Have you spoken with our corporate accounts receivable department?
Me: This bill originated from your Dublin Ohio office, the information I have makes no reference to a so called "Accounts receivable department" . . if you have such an office.
Them: You need to get in touch with. . .
Me: Mr. Bock, Once again, this is not a joke, we currently hold a legal indebtedness from one, let me see here. . .Yes, Jason in your office, subscribing to our clients service and failing to pay. . .
Them: Who did you say?
Me: You heard me deadbeat! if you don't make arrangements promptly, we will file an action in. . .
Them: This must be a joke. . .
I called back and was put on hold. . .hung up after 22 min. End of round one.
Next day, "Jason" calls again. I'm non too happy about it, and tell him so. As I tell him to CEASE COMMUNICATIONS, he says, "Hey f****r, I wrote your name and number in the bathroom at the Q Bar." and hangs up. I immediately call back and ask to speak with a supervisor. After being on hold for 12 minutes, the phone is picked up by someone who identified them self as "Robert" As I start to explain and register a complaint, he accuses me of being a deadbeat and he goes on to state he has "heard it all before" and I need to pay up to save my credit. Once again, I start to explain, and "Robert" tells me he is giving me 24 hours to arrange payments or he is going to approve the matter for legal action. I ask to speak to his supervisor, and he remarks that he is going to, "come by my house and f*** my dog." And hangs up.
The very next day, I send, via certified mail Cease communications letters as specified by the Debt Collection Practices Act(FDCPA). I also called them back and sheepishly asked for their fax number telling them I was going to fax a settlement letter to them. I was given the number (614) 791-4720 and of course thanked the "nice woman" for her help. I faxed copies of the letter to them that day.
The following day, they called and left no message on my answering machine. The following monday, who calls but my good buddy "Jason". . . once again, same song and dance. This time, the gloves are off. "Jaso, ol' buddy, listen, your right. I really need to take care of this unfortunate matter and thank him for his help. . Could you offer me a settlement offer?"
"Well," he starts. . You do owe the balance of this debt to a reputable creditor who expects YOU to make good on your debt," he says.
ME: I know, sir, but this guy named "guido" sold me the plan and promised me LIFETIME phone service unlimited for a one time fee of &12.95
"You really need to make arraingements and pay this before more charges accrue."
ME: Well,Guido said he was sending the guys from Chicago to break my legs if I didn't sign up, but that if I did, I could call anyone, anytime.
"That's not my concern, I am attempting to. . .
ME: What? Get a b*** j**?
"Excuse me?"
ME: Look, I'm NOT giving you a SNOW job. . .
"We hear excuses like this all the time, now according to my records. . .
ME: You got VD from chimpanzee?
"Did you say?"
ME: No, Look Jason, I don't mind dealing with you, and the debt is. . "
"Well then you need to pay it?"
ME: Why, so you can stick your dick up my a**?. . But, I just got my car repossessed, and my wife left me for another woman."
"Look, I don't have time to mess with you, if you don't. . .
ME: What? let you b*****ck my gerbil?
CLICK
Next Day, no calls.
Following day
ME: Hello? Listen Debbie, I promise, I did not get that girl pregnant, it was. . .
Caller: Mr. Troon, this is Tom, from Outsourcing sol. u. . t. .
ME:Your out f****n who?
Caller: Excuse me?
ME: Oh, is this Jaso,s bro? listen man, I know Debbie gave you herpes and it probably hurts right now. . .
Caller: Your a sick f***!
ME: How goddamn dare you d****eed. . . listen, I'm coming over to your little shopping center in about 15 minutes with a few of my boys and were gonna kick your a**!
CLICK
That night I set up the computer to fax a letter to the fax machine. The letter says, "Stop calling me Jason, I will not let you s*** my **** anymore" Number of copies 250. . .
The next day, my happy little a***ipe calls again
Me: "Ello?"
Caller: I need to speak with Paul Troon
ME: "You need a, you need a, a, spittoon?
Caller: No, Paul Troon, would you have him come to the phone?
Me: Uno momento, por favor. . .
momentary pause. . . .
Me: Ello? He is on the fone he is about to cum. . .
Me: <Straining sounds> oooOOUhhh BAbeee. . . Thats good, just a little more . . thats right, suck it good. . I'm gonna. . I'm gonna. . AHHHHH!!!
Me: That will be $29.95. . .if you would like five more minutes it will be an additional $29.95. .
Caller: Ah. . .
Me: Will you be paying by credit card or check by phone?
CLICK
That night I set the fax machine to send a new letter:
Daily JOKE A FAX
A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor.
"Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door.
"Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly,
"Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription:
"Gone, But Not for Cotton."
Housekeeper: Professor, theres a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldnt believe me. Professor: No? Then I suppose Ill have to go and tell him myself.
The recipient of this fax agrees to pay the sender $19.95 per copy. Receipt of this fax constitutes agreement. The sender of this fax reserves the right to revoke, recend or change the terms of this agreement without previous notice to the recipient. Failure to pay the cost of this instrument to the sender WILL result in LEGAL ACTION to recover the cost plus a prohibitive service fee and all legal fees, plus additional damages of $17.95 per letter sent. This is an attempt to collect a debt.
I then set it to send 75 copies.
Next day, I sent a fax of a bill for 75 copies of "Daily joke fax" for a total of $1426.95.
The following day, I made some letterhead for Dewey, Cheatum and Howe Attorny's at law. Demanding payment of the original $1426.95 bill plus Service fees of $17.95 x 75 ($1326.45) +plus attorney fees of $575.00 for a total of $3328.40. Faxed a copy and mailed one by certified mail, return receipt requested.
The next day, I called and asked to speak to Ray Bock. when asked who I was, I stated, "Bill Fold esq. of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. In short order the hold is answered and a fellow comes on and says,
Them: "Ray Bock"
Me: Mr. Bock, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm, located here in scenic New York city. We are handling an account that has been turned over to us for collection.
Them: "Let me let you speak to my assistant. . ."
Me: Mr. Bock, perhaps you don't understand, We are in receipt of a matter of $3328.40 owed to our client. Unless you deal with this matter promptly, we WILL be forced to commence a legal action against you and your firm.
Them: What are you talking about, who is this?
Me: Sir, this is not a joke, this is Bill Fold of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe law firm. We have a. . .
Them: Have you spoken with our corporate accounts receivable department?
Me: This bill originated from your Dublin Ohio office, the information I have makes no reference to a so called "Accounts receivable department" . . if you have such an office.
Them: You need to get in touch with. . .
Me: Mr. Bock, Once again, this is not a joke, we currently hold a legal indebtedness from one, let me see here. . .Yes, Jason in your office, subscribing to our clients service and failing to pay. . .
Them: Who did you say?
Me: You heard me deadbeat! if you don't make arrangements promptly, we will file an action in. . .
Them: This must be a joke. . .
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