I keep getting picture Texts from this guy that invole Richard Simmons saying "You're Gay!".  Whatever man, I wear flannel, scratch myself in public, and, have no Idea what conditioner is used for.  Gayness possibility factor = ZERO!

This guy called me and kept talking about my face.  I was like "What do you want?"  And he was like "What does your face want"?  I don't understand.  And then I was like "Seriously what do you want?"  The he said "That's what she said."  WTF???!!!!

I got a picture text from this guy too.  It was some wierd guy skydiving with an old man riding him.  in the caption it said "It's Raining Men!". What does this all mean?  I have no f-ing clue.

This guy keeps calling my 900-number.  I can't complain cause it's costing him 4.95/min...too bad he can't stay on longer than 60 seconds.

This guy and I broke up two years ago and he keeps peaking in my windows.  Then I called the cops and they hit him with their batons and tazed him.  I got a restraining order and he still comes over.  He Peaks through the window and keeps staring at my mom.  I don't know what his obsession is with my mom.  She's 60 years old for crying out loud.  Don't talk to this guy.  He is a MomFu*ker.

This guy called me and asked for information.  I thought he was a telemarketer but he didn't want her address or anything...instead he asked about body dimensions and whether she had a D cup. I just hung up, the call was too freaky for me.

This guy keeps callin me asking me to say the word "lettuce" and then spell "cup".  What?
Lettuce C-U-P....I don't get it.

Woke up in da mornin' wit' da shakes...cereal-killah Mister Frosted-Flakes.